If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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