I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
