I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
