He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
