girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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