We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
