next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
