she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
