bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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