You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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