i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
