4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I bet he comes in French.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
