she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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