she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
