And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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