belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
