Tell her she can't have a vagina
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
