Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
