I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
