Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
