why didn't you poke me back
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize