It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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