Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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