it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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