Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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