Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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