is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
