Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
