Pappa wants mamma naked
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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