WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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