I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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