Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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