I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
