You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
