She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How external is "for external use only"?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
