Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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