Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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