i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
