This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
