I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
