Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
be right there i have to get my cape
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
