ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
