i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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