Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
