It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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