im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
