Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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