no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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