i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
