Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
