i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
