Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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