I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The air was thick with penises
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize