I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
