you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
